Moving ahead!

"Jon I am deleting my Facebook." Sadly enough (but true) those were difficult words for me to say out loud. Somehow Facebook has consumed me (many people I'm sure could agree). I find myself checking it multiple times a day to see "what's new". What's new should be right in front of my face. In the real world, not Facebook world. Basically, I do not have self control to put the phone down and live in the moment.

Two months ago, we realized Corbin wasn't meeting milestones like his peers were. We met with the pediatrician and decided to do some preliminary blood work while we waited for our appointment with a Pediatric Developmental Dr. in Des Moines. His creatine kinese levels (do not ask me for a definition) came back mildly elevated. Before we could even meet with the developmental Dr., we were off to Iowa City to meet with a Neuromuscular Dr. The Neuromuscular Dr. thought Corbin's muscle tone was good, and he didn't see any signs of a degenerative muscle disease (Hooray!). He "diagnosed" Corbin as globally delayed. He recommended we did a MRI of the brain to make sure Corbin didn't have a mild case of Cerebral Palsy. This was a turning point for all of us. How did Corbin not sitting escalate so quickly? Thankfully we did the MRI and all came back normal. I had never prayed so much in my life as I did in that one week.

We did finally meet with the Developmental Dr. in Des Moines. He was an uplifting, full of energy, positive attitude kind of Dr. Just what we needed :) We needed to hear that no matter what, Corbin's "condition" wasn't terminal. It wasn't the end of the world. We needed to hear that early intervention can make a huge difference. He shared with us that his 12 month old daughter just started pulling herself up to furniture and crawling. Perfect. Our child isn't the only one lagging. He examined Corbin and determined he wasn't globally delayed, just gross motor delayed. Even better! He told us that if Corbin was one of his kids, he wouldn't be overly worried. Thank you for putting my mind at ease. We decided the best course of action to help Corbin would be to get Early Access involved, but also to do private physical therapy at the hospital once a week.

Regardless of any "diagnosis" we may or may not have, Corbin is a happy happy boy. He smiles constantly, squeals with excitement, and lights up when we enter the room. He has great head control, chews on everything, plays with toys, moves them from hand to hand, and lets his voice be heard.

Every day I see beautiful babies on Facebook moving around, learning to crawl, exploring their new world, and becoming amazing individuals. I am so happy for those babies and their parents! However, I then compare those babies to MY baby. What I can't seem to get through my thick skull is those are YOUR babies and he is MY baby. They are different. They are on their own schedule. Corbin doesn't have to meet milestones at the same time. But there is always this little voice in the back of my head saying "but why isn't Corbin doing _____?" This is why Facebook and I had to break up. I can't keep comparing him. It only makes my heart ache for him more. It only makes me feel like more of a failure as a parent. It only makes me harder on him. When doing our exercises the therapist gives us and he refuses, I lose my patience. I lose my patience... with a 8 month old?! I made a choice yesterday to make our lives better. I made a choice to do my job as a parent better.

We will continue therapy and early intervention. Soon Corbin will be sitting unsupported, crawling, walking, and getting into everything like a little boy should! Until then I will enjoy the extra time I get with him and knowing that if I leave a room he will be in that spot when I return :)