{Blessed}

We had a "photo shoot" last night with the babes. This means Hallie wanted to hold her brother. Which turns into asking me to take their picture. Doesn't matter... I love that she wants to love on him and take pictures with him!! I love that these two get along so well. I can't believe how much they are each growing and changing into their own little personalities. Hallie definitely is a mini me, and Corbin is definitely a mini Jon. Enjoy!!

The Unknown

My biggest fear in life is the unknown. What lies ahead? What surprise will life hand us next? What will my children be when they grow up? How will Hallie tolerate Kindergarten? When will Corbin start walking? The unknown is beginning to eat me alive.

Just when I thought things were getting better, the Dr. called. Corbin has been doing fabulous this week!!! He is sitting up for a couple minutes at a time. Most kids start sitting by supporting themselves with their arms in front. Not Corbin. Corbin went from laying to sitting and playing with toys at the same time. No wonder its taken him so long!! :) He also started accepting chunky foods. We have been doing oatmeal in the mornings, and then trying 3rd foods at night. Before this week, the 3rd foods would cause the gag and vomit reaction due to the chunks. He also has ate 2 puffs without gagging. This my friends is called progress.

I had finally started feeling like the extra attention and therapy were finally getting us somewhere. The elevated CK levels have still loomed over us. The Neurologist called today. He finally received Corbin's MRI results. He was pleased that everything look normal on the report. We discussed WHY the CK levels are still elevated. He doesn't believe its muscular dystrophy, but does believe something is causing this. Our next steps are genetic testing. Testing of Corbin's chromosomes to see if he has missing ones or extra ones of if everything there is normal as well. If the genetic tests turn up normal, we will start more detailed blood work to try to find the underlying cause. He said luckily Corbin's numbers do not indicate degenerative diseases, and that he does not appear to have low muscle tone. But that unfortunately, his numbers are too high to just be ignored. Bummer. I like the playing oblivious idea much better.

So yet again the overwhelming number of prayers begin. I hope and pray that by some miracle his CK levels come down to the normal range, and that whatever results we get show that Corbin will always be my happy and healthy baby.

Thank God for amazing family and friends for sticking with us through all this. I know our situation could be much worse, but it still is difficult. We all want the best for our children, and its difficult when situations are out of our control. So for everyone that has given us hope and sent prayers our way, thank you. From the bottom of our heart we truly appreciate it. 

Making time

This weekend was all about making time. I didn't do a single bit of housework. I played, I sang, I held. The three of us (Hallie was gone for the weekend) even took a nap Saturday evening. That NEVER has happened. We ate popcorn for supper. No cooking was done. I enjoyed every last moment. 

Daddy trying to see if Corbin would give him the paci... Ah love <3

He rolled to his side, grabbed the blanket, and began peek-a-boo.

We are getting there!! He was able to spend about a minute at a time sitting up by himself.

We have good days, and we have bad days. Corbin had an awesome weekend of working on those trunk muscles. He played a lot on his side (the therapist will be happy to hear this!) and cooperated most of the time with his exercises. Another battle we have had is Corbin eating things other than pureed baby food. I made oatmeal both mornings this weekend and mixed it with fruit. That is probably the first textured thing he has ever kept down. Normally its a gag and puke reflex. Slowly but surely... Little man also had two firsts this weekend. What doesn't seem like a big deal to most is a huge deal to us. He sat (actually sat!!) in a high chair at a restaurant, and he sat in the shopping cart at a store! Ah-mazing!!

 

We can't forget about little miss. She came home today from being gone since Thursday. Things have been a little rough so far this summer. She has been misbehaving at daycare and throwing fits at home. She came back a different kid. Maybe an extra day apart was what we needed to regroup and start over. We picked her up from Greenfield and stopped for a couple of things at Shopko. Dad gave into her and bought her a slip and slide as well as Sparklers. She had a blast today!! Water, slip and slide, and dish soap provide at least an hour worth of entertainment. She went through 3 boxes of Sparklers tonight. At 9:30 she pleaded with us she still wasn't tired. 

Poor kid :)

 

I love weekends where nothing gets accomplished but laughter and fun. I love weekends where we get to see our families and relax. No care in the world. I love having happy kids!!

I love his new faces!! His smile and laugh are seriously contagious!!

Happy Father's Day!

This weekend is Father's Day, and I have been blessed to know so many wonderful fathers. Yesterday was also Friday the 13th. A double whammy of memories for me.

My dad earned his wings on Friday, October 13, 2006. He was such an amazing Dad. When I was Hallie's age, I did anything to be with my Dad. I went to work and sat in the back of the parts room putting nuts and bolts together because it meant I got to spend time with him. I let my Mom shove cotton balls in my ears because it meant I got to go to the races with my Dad. He taught me so much through the years. I learned the value of a dollar, and the value of honesty. I learned that honesty was more important than a dollar. I learned hard work paid off in the end. We didn't always see eye to eye. Too much alike? Perhaps. I regret those arguments and fights today. I was an ignorant teenager who took for granted the life I was given. I would give anything to change the past, but I know he has found his peace in Heaven. Happy Father's Day Dad!

Teaching Hallie to tie her shoes!

My husband... best... father... ever! Hallie was 2 when we began dating. The first time he met her and saw me as a Mother "he knew he had fallen in love." I knew he was the one when I saw him interact with Hallie. He is the perfect combination of fun and play but also tough love. Nothing is better than when he gets home and hearing Hallie's feet hitting the ground as she runs to the door "Daddy's home!" Hallie too will have the same fond memories of doing anything she could to spend time with Dad. She puts on her rubber boots and work gloves to help him in the yard. While we were working on our house she would beg to get a ride in the skid steer. If Dad gets a call into work, Hallie is headed to the door for her shoes too. Dad's going golfing? Say what? Hallie wants to go too! And then our little man came.... Don't even get me started. The love the shows went to a whole new levels. He is so patient with the baby, especially when I'm not. He changes diapers, feeds, plays, calms, you name it. Except bathe. We haven't gotten that far!! :)

Holding Corbin Jon for the first time!

I look at the picture of him holding his son for the first time, and it brings tears to my eyes. Seeing the love is amazing. Thank you Mom for capturing such a beautiful moment!!

I have also been blessed with a wonderful father-in-law. My husband is sometimes too much like his father. :) My mother-in-law and I enjoy telling stories about those "quirks" that drive us nuts. I knew I had chosen a good man after meeting his parents. They possess the qualities that I wanted in a husband, and thankfully they passed those remarkable traits on to him. Honest, hard working, and respectful. Perfect match.

For all of you hard working Dads and Grandpas, thank you for all you do! We truly love and appreciate all that you do to help grow our children into the wonderful adults we hope for them to be!

Moving ahead!

"Jon I am deleting my Facebook." Sadly enough (but true) those were difficult words for me to say out loud. Somehow Facebook has consumed me (many people I'm sure could agree). I find myself checking it multiple times a day to see "what's new". What's new should be right in front of my face. In the real world, not Facebook world. Basically, I do not have self control to put the phone down and live in the moment.

Two months ago, we realized Corbin wasn't meeting milestones like his peers were. We met with the pediatrician and decided to do some preliminary blood work while we waited for our appointment with a Pediatric Developmental Dr. in Des Moines. His creatine kinese levels (do not ask me for a definition) came back mildly elevated. Before we could even meet with the developmental Dr., we were off to Iowa City to meet with a Neuromuscular Dr. The Neuromuscular Dr. thought Corbin's muscle tone was good, and he didn't see any signs of a degenerative muscle disease (Hooray!). He "diagnosed" Corbin as globally delayed. He recommended we did a MRI of the brain to make sure Corbin didn't have a mild case of Cerebral Palsy. This was a turning point for all of us. How did Corbin not sitting escalate so quickly? Thankfully we did the MRI and all came back normal. I had never prayed so much in my life as I did in that one week.

We did finally meet with the Developmental Dr. in Des Moines. He was an uplifting, full of energy, positive attitude kind of Dr. Just what we needed :) We needed to hear that no matter what, Corbin's "condition" wasn't terminal. It wasn't the end of the world. We needed to hear that early intervention can make a huge difference. He shared with us that his 12 month old daughter just started pulling herself up to furniture and crawling. Perfect. Our child isn't the only one lagging. He examined Corbin and determined he wasn't globally delayed, just gross motor delayed. Even better! He told us that if Corbin was one of his kids, he wouldn't be overly worried. Thank you for putting my mind at ease. We decided the best course of action to help Corbin would be to get Early Access involved, but also to do private physical therapy at the hospital once a week.

Regardless of any "diagnosis" we may or may not have, Corbin is a happy happy boy. He smiles constantly, squeals with excitement, and lights up when we enter the room. He has great head control, chews on everything, plays with toys, moves them from hand to hand, and lets his voice be heard.

Every day I see beautiful babies on Facebook moving around, learning to crawl, exploring their new world, and becoming amazing individuals. I am so happy for those babies and their parents! However, I then compare those babies to MY baby. What I can't seem to get through my thick skull is those are YOUR babies and he is MY baby. They are different. They are on their own schedule. Corbin doesn't have to meet milestones at the same time. But there is always this little voice in the back of my head saying "but why isn't Corbin doing _____?" This is why Facebook and I had to break up. I can't keep comparing him. It only makes my heart ache for him more. It only makes me feel like more of a failure as a parent. It only makes me harder on him. When doing our exercises the therapist gives us and he refuses, I lose my patience. I lose my patience... with a 8 month old?! I made a choice yesterday to make our lives better. I made a choice to do my job as a parent better.

We will continue therapy and early intervention. Soon Corbin will be sitting unsupported, crawling, walking, and getting into everything like a little boy should! Until then I will enjoy the extra time I get with him and knowing that if I leave a room he will be in that spot when I return :)

Muddy Waters

When we were pregnant with our little guy, we listed every name possible in hopes we could maybe agree on ONE... just one. It became a joke. I started coming up with clever names to play against our last name. Waters. River Waters. Fisher Waters. Duncan Waters. Muddy Waters. Obviously we chose not to let our son be ridiculed and gave him the name Corbin.

The name for this blog didn't come easy. I wanted something clever. Something I could remember mostly (these days that is hard impossible to come by). Then it hit me. Muddy Waters. I started this blog as a way to express what was going on in our lives. I needed away from Facebook, but I still wanted those family and friends that cared to know what was going on. I wanted them to see our precious children growing and changing.

I realized The Muddy Waters Family was a very fitting name. Our life isn't perfect. Our life isn't crystal clear. Some days are hazy. Some days are gloomy. Others are full of sun and birds chirping. Muddy. Our lives are muddy. They aren't clear, but they aren't impassible. We can struggle through the mud knowing we are there for one another.

So here it is. My first blog. Next up... why my relationship with Facebook had to end & Corbin's progress!